i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
