THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
