I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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