And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need to sanitize my soul.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
