did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The uberlube is also flammable
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
