so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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