moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Naked. naked and bneed help.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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