i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
