8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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