I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she told me i tasted like america
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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