everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
