I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize