I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
