My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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