ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
