my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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