No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
And then he peed in my hair
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