I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
