I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
