Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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