capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
