I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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