If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
