I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
