also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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