Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
