His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
