I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
