What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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