sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize