If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize