Kiss
Puke
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
