Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
