The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
