I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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