from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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