he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
