you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
