my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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