found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
