he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
