I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
