That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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