Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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