I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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