She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
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I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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