Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
