i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
