I got chris browned last night
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I FOUND THE LEGS
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
