do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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