You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
