He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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