Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
