I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
