garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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