but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
