I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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